captainobvious12

Captainobvious12

Captainobvious12 -

Captainobvious12

lovers5201

linou13

yoyo4902

Captainobvious12

Farva - 24/01/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

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lendahandmanda - 24/02/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

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lendahandmanda

lendahandmanda 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 22:14

Not only was he a pretty muscular guy, but his arms were pinning mine down to a point, and i had no leverage laying in the position I was in. To those of you saying I should have just waited til he woke up, he was sort of choking me, his head was under my chin pressed against my neck, and I felt like I was being suffocated, and his body on top of mine was making it difficult for me to breathe. It might have just been anxiety though. I probably could have stuck through it.

So romantic

lost_ina_dream - 21/02/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

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pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

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Unwarranted bitchiness

lois2lane - 23/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

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