haiblowmeplox_fml

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Haiblowmeplox_fml's favorite FMLs

By Brian - 26/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

agreeclassic 20 839

vote type 1 10 507

Come again?

By Alice - 22/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, my manager came in and said, "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said, "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who'd left the room. FML

agreeclassic 20 725

vote type 1 48 438

Rekt

By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

agreeclassic 88 381

vote type 1 6 176

By jilted - 21/03/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

agreeclassic 560

vote type 1 45