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killerJC

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Killerjc

Killerjc

screwed - 29/05/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

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Charles - 18/05/2011 17:13 - Norway

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

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Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

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Dad jokes!

Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

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Charlie - 05/05/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

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