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On the move

By Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 431

Is everything OK?

By Hellie - 30/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 181

Human interface

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 536

I started a joke…

By Shabby Rabbit - 03/09/2025 18:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 150

SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got on a train and spotted a free seat. I rushed over, sat down and sighed with relief, only to realize people were looking at me. That’s when I saw the “Reserved for the elderly or disabled” sign…and the man with a cane standing in front of me. I immediately offered him the seat, but he just shook his head and said, “You’re gonna need it after this shaming.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 385

Warehouse blues

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 22:00

Today, I got up early to wait for my new sofa to be delivered. I spent yesterday taking apart and getting rid of my old crappy sofa. At midday, the furniture shop said they'd cancelled my order due to not having enough of that model in stock. Even if I re-order a sofa now, it's 2 weeks until they can deliver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 80

Ozempic pushers

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 09:00

Today, my parents came for a visit and spent the whole time pressuring me to ask my doctor for medication to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 80

Look at me

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that my gay male friend tells me I’m pretty, gives me random compliments, and shows me off more often than my husband of 10 years. I legitimately can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful. Even if I ask him how I look, the best I’ll get is “You look fine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 124

Taste test

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 20:00

Today, I noticed my boyfriend tasted different than normal so he got a doctor's appointment, which is where he discovered he has a yeast infection under his foreskin. Yuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 120

Cough up

By Thilo Pieper - 24/10/2025 15:00

Today, I missed a free flight paid by the company I was supposed to work for, because I was sick. I was then told that I had to pay myself later. Should I have never gotten so sick that I had to miss that flight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 105

Losing my mind

By Anonymous - 26/10/2025 09:00

Today, my mom and I were talking about a wedding decoration that we are going to use at my wedding. I insisted that I gave the decorations to her and I didn’t bother looking in my house. She came over for the night and cleaned while I was at work. She found the decorations that I'd insisted that I'd given to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 521

Slammed

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 03:00

Today, I walked into court with DNA evidence my ex-wife’s 5 month old son isn’t mine, and somehow I walked out of court still required to pay child support to my cheating whore ex. How is this legal? He’s not mine. I’m not even on the birth certificate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 90

Brighten up

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 09:00

Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 75

Let's grow old together

By Eric - 20/11/2025 03:00

Today, I stood up wrong from the toilet, leading to me pulling a muscle in both of my thighs, just above the knees. This made me feel old, and even older when I immediately remembered this website from when I was still young. I'm 29 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 120

Spillage

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 22:00

Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 129

Naughty boy

By Mark - 25/11/2025 12:00

Today, coming home with my water bottle and venti Starbucks in one hand, and my 4 month-old leashed puppy on my other hand, I entered my condo building as a little girl was holding the door open. As I said thank you, my dog lunged towards her, I pulled him back, and most of my Caramel Brûlée Latte went flying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 483

Kinda sus

By TheCarl - 02/12/2025 15:00

Today, Amazon delivered an item I need urgently for air travel later in the day. To the wrong address. From the photo, I could see which house they had delivered it to. They weren't home, but a camera was pointing at the item. My behaviour was indistinguishable from that of a porch pirate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 69

Signed, sealed, delivered

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 09:00

Today, I received a package and confidently told the delivery guy I didn’t need to sign because it was “hands-free these days.” He stared at me, pointed at the giant screen that clearly required a signature, and said, “Not for this one.” I scribbled in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 573

You've got this

By Winning - 07/12/2025 22:00

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 334

Decorum and etiquette

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 12:00

Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 490

Rough night

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 97

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 03:00

Today, I confidently answered a question in a meeting, only to realize everyone was staring at me because I’d misunderstood it completely. My boss gently rephrased it while I nodded like that was my point all along. It absolutely wasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 313

Cute miscommunication

By 9 to 5 - 30/12/2025 22:00

Today, I texted my boss to say I’d be late because my train was delayed. Autocorrect changed “delayed” to “derailed.” My boss called immediately, panicked, asking if I was OK. I had to explain it was just a typo while standing safely on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 100

Time to let go

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 22:00

Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 84

Point made

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 00:00

Today, to prove to my wife that she's incapable of leaving on time, I told her we needed to leave by 6 and gave her no further reminders. At 6:45 she “still need 5 more minutes.” Then she got mad when she came downstairs at 7:20 and I was in my pyjamas, because what's the fucking point leaving now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 38

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 05:00 - Malaysia - Kulim

Today, my brother and I took an hour long train home. I'd got up early, so I dozed a little bit in the train. I woke up to people looking at me at me. Thinking I slayed my outfit or something, my brother sent me a 5 minute video of me snoring so damn loud with my ugly mouth hanging open, and other passengers laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 138

The truth of the matter

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that the high school program that I was forced into, which kept me in school until I turned 21, was caused by my mom. She put me in the program without telling me and when I first learned about it, she pretended not to know anything so I wouldn't be mad at her. That was 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 120

Well travelled

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 757

Oblivious

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 12:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 473

Keep your distance

By Gale - 14/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 489

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 651

You deserved it 665

Today, I have so little faith in my future earning potential that I keep my clipped toe and fingernails as a nest egg. I heard that some weirdos on the internet actually pay money for those. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 989

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 583

You deserved it 2 632

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 015

You deserved it 188

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 411

You deserved it 4 281

Today, my mom won the lottery. My biological mom who I only met last year, after 33 years of not knowing who she was. She is sharing her millions with her kids, but that doesn't include me as I "don't count". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 906

You deserved it 638