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We don't need no education

By Anonymous - 09/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer going to be homeschooled and that they're putting me in regular school. I don't want to because my generation is so fucking dumb, but they won't listen to me. I won't fit in at all but they just dismiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 457

Oddly specific reference

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend whispered, “Grond will breach it” into my ear, all sexy like. I had no idea what he was on about, so when we were done screwing I looked it up. Grond is a battering ram from a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings that smashes a gate open. Just why? Nerd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 392

Wreckless

By Worthless woman - 24/03/2025 17:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I came home from a work trip, expecting the house to be a wreck. Imagine my shock when I walked in and it was cleaner than I've ever seen. When I sputtered in surprise, my fiance shrugged and said, "I work better alone." Guess I'm just a fucking hindrance, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 584

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 166

Enjoy it while it lasts, bucko

By Employed - 25/05/2025 05:00 - United States - Fort Dodge

Today, during an argument, my boyfriend had the nerve to tell me he'll make more than me at his new job that he starts next week. He can't keep a job for more than six months. I've been working at my job for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 106

Isn't this, like, a crime?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend blows weed smoke at me while I sleep. I don’t smoke. Then he turns off the Ring camera in the middle of the night and cheats on me with men that he finds on Grindr. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 165

Rough night

By paul - 01/06/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. from a nightmare in which my stalker ex was my Uber driver, but I woke up before he killed me. I fell back asleep and woke up after several more people attacked me and I fought them off with pepper spray, and found out more people were looking for me because they got 13 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 89

Dodged a bullet

By whatever - 08/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 71

Confess!

By Sad man - 20/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 100

Snoopy

By No way - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 557

Pervs!

By Ew you freaks - 26/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 96

Bad connexion

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for his birthday, I bought my son the Xbox game he wanted. Seven hours for the game to install, two hours to download, then install an update, which failed twice and had to be restarted. He was a nightmare all afternoon waiting for it, then it was bedtime and the game still wasn’t ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 153

Take it seriously

By Debora - 09/08/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, during a virtual class, I thought I was muted and said, “I’m gonna fake a technical issue and take a nap.” The professor responded, “Let us know how the nap goes.” I never logged back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 686

Panic!

By We almost had a collective panic attack over nothing! - 18/08/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I checked Life360 to see how close my dad was to home. His profile stopped moving for several minutes, then it greyed out and the app said he couldn't be found. My mom and I thought something terrible had happened. After one very stressful half hour, he appeared. His phone had gone into airplane mode… somehow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 415

Isn't it one inch?

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 02:00

Today, we were watching old Kung Fu movies and I said how ridiculous the two inch punch was. My dad claimed he taught it to himself years ago, so like an idiot I dared him to prove it. Two inches later I was across the room gasping for breath. I guess it’s real then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 521

Tedious, yet annoying

By Bob - 30/09/2025 09:00

Today, I watched the Dallas Cowboys game, only for it to last for four hours and end in a 40-40 tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 390

Pipe down, Anna

By Anna - 02/10/2025 03:00

Today, while on a big conference call, I thought I was muted. I loudly said, “This meeting could have been an email,” followed by a dramatic sigh. My boss replied, “Oh really Anna? Maybe your job could be done by AI.” The rest of the meeting was a half hour of silence from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 602

Policy of truth

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 03:00

Today, I spent some time talking to a girl I'm interested in. All signs point to a "no" if I asked her out, but the repeated shifts between chatting like we're the only people on Earth, to feeling like she doesn't know I exist when I randomly experience radio silence, is an emotional rollercoaster I'd like to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 174

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 00:00

Today, I was told Thanksgiving was cancelled after I'd already sent $100 to my sister-in-law to help with food costs. It turns out that it wasn't cancelled, I was just uninvited so her friends could go. I can't afford a meal for myself. I hope they all get food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 69

Proportional response miscalculation

By Sweet Shawarma - 05/12/2025 20:00

Today, I got served. I'm being sued by a porch pirate, whom my brother claims to have taken care of, to never steal from me ever again. What did he do? He caught her in the act and stopped her, by loading and pointing a shotgun on her face. Oh? The package in question, a kiddie eraser set priced roughly $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 66

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 00:00

Today, after getting fed up with my girlfriend ignoring me about drinking caffeine while carrying my baby, I tried to fix it by secretly switching her coffee with decaf. Apparently she found out, before telling me she’s leaving me for someone “less controlling.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 871

Kinda hot

By SadGf - 05/02/2026 20:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 149

Romcom moment

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 09:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I was tired of waiting for him to propose. It turns out he was going to propose and had the ring and everything, but I fucked it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 719

Relax

By Alice - 09/03/2026 22:00

Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 148

Tit for tat

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 20:00

Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 45

Distant

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, my husband spoke enthusiastically about his day to my sister-in-law, who doesn't care about us or our family, and who I hate due to it. While I've been trying to get him to talk, ask him questions, and share about his day for years now, the most response I get is, "Leave me alone with my coffee" or literal snores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 120

Overzealous Fitbit

By Annoyed - 05/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I decided to try a new fitness tracker. After walking around all day, I looked at my app to check how many steps I’d taken, only to realize the tracker had counted every time I flailed my arms in frustration trying to figure out how to set it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 325

Welcome!

By Annoyed - 27/04/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 81

Gotcha

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my leasing office called to inform me that we will be receiving an eviction notice. After further communication into why, I found out that I’m not being evicted, but my girlfriend of six years is, because she got caught doing the dirty with someone in the apartment gym restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 105

Fed up, leave me alone

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 115

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The Top

Today, our daughter got in a fight with her dad because she isn’t sure if marrying her boyfriend will make her happy. Her dad then said, "Well which do you want, to be happy or to be married? Because you can’t have both." We’ve been married for 32 years so it hurt hearing him say that. It hurt a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 165

Today, I talked to my husband about leaving his parents' house. He said, and I quote, ''No. I don't want the responsibility of paying bills.'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 664

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 587

You deserved it 60 483

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 513

You deserved it 7 686

Today, I've been talking to a chick since early this year and she seems to like me a lot. We were both drinking heavily and were talking on the phone, having a really good time. Suddenly it hangs up. I get her back on the phone just a few minutes later only to hear her getting the bottom knocked out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 282

Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 933

You deserved it 866