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Good one, Meemaw

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 111

Regular occurrence

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 470

Not a great idea

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I have reached that point in my life: my wisdom teeth have made their presence known. My mom says I don't need to see a dentist, because, "they'll come out by themselves." As it turns out, that can happen, but it's extremely rare. I'd rather not bet on a random, unlikely chance, but she insists. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 85

I can't win

By abt2bsingle - 13/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 295

Never joke about it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got back to work from a 4 month hospital stay and I joked with my boss that after so long away, I’m not planning on being sick again for years. Two hours later, a coworker knocked me down the stairs. A dislocated hip and a broken femur requiring 4-6 weeks of recovery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 70

Perverted justice

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, I pretended to be a little girl on social media, just for fun. All I got was a random guy who sent me a direct message and asked me to send a photo of my private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 545

Subway creeper

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 941

The road to hell

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 02:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 71

Get it on

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was really excited because the guy I was seeing invited me over for sex. His house was messy, but I looked past that. The final straw was he wouldn’t make his dog get off the bed so we could get it on. He actually got offended and told me to leave because, “What? She’s just lying there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 106

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 116

Be the change you want to see in the world

By Anonymous - 31/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 111

You must be joking

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 22:00

Today, my friend is mad at me because I refused to be a bridesmaid since she’s getting married at a plantation. I asked if she’d get married at Auschwitz or somewhere else of great suffering. She called me a drama queen and blocked me. Sorry that I, a black woman, don’t wanna go to a plantation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 415

It's a trap!

By iMFUGHG - 10/11/2025 00:00

Today. upon learning that I'd friend-zoned a good friend of hers, my girlfriend dumped me. I worked so hard to win her over. She told me, "Just a tip: next time, go after people who like you. Don't friend-zone them, you just may be missing out on a good person." I told her I wanted HER. She told me, "But I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 126

Yikes

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 15:00

Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 123

Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 736

Weird

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 00:00

Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 80

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, I’ve been having an affair with my cousin’s husband for the last 16 years. For 3-ish months, when my husband gets drunk, he accuses us of cheating & threatens to tell everyone. Sober, he remembers nothing. We are constantly worried he will tell but are too in love to end it. Both in bad marriages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 906

Give some, take some

By Stinky - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Roanoke

Today, I learned that some days you win, and some days you clean up skunk carcass with a snow shovel, in the rain, in formerly waterproof boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 403

You deserved it 369

The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 468

Creepy dude

By Dave - 21/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a guy in a store parking lot started yelling at me, asking if I was famous. I laughed and said, "No, I’m just a regular person." He then asked for an autograph. Not wanting to argue with crazy, I signed a note and handed it to him. He walked off, looking at the note with confusion and visibly mounting anger. I'd signed the first thing I could think of: “For my biggest fan! Sincerely, Whoopi Goldberg.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 159

Vaguepost

By Anonymous - 25/03/2025 07:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’m about to lose my marbles. I can’t speak up because I need to keep the peace, but if I don’t it’s gonna enrage me to the point where I explode, so I’m essentially teetering on a wall with shit on one side and fire on the other. FML. Just FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 289

Righteous fury

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Draper

Today, I found out my brother-in-law did time last year for being a pedophile. His mommy told my spouse to tell no one that he served time. I'm the sister-in-law and no one told the sister who has young daughters. The pedo is mommy's precious boy who can't do wrong. He did this time. How dare mommy protect him like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 75

Useless

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 07:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 94

Impressed indeed

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I joined a dance class to impress my girlfriend. Halfway through, I realized I had two left feet. The instructor asked me to demonstrate a simple move, and instead I tripped on the mat, fell into another dancer, and took her down with me. I’ve been banned from all future classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 127

Just trying to help

By Dave - 28/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 184

Never in public

By Red - 02/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a beautiful park. It would have been perfect if it wasn't for some fat incel recording it on his phone, yelling about how much of a douche my boyfriend is, and how I'm such a "Stacy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 90

Keep out of it

By Melanie - 11/06/2025 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was in a heated argument with my partner. In the middle of it, Alexa stated, “I’m not sure about that.” We both paused. Then she added, “But it doesn’t sound healthy.” We were both so startled that we stopped arguing and just stared at the speaker like it was judging us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 465

New look, huh?

By Dave - 15/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 331

What's Charlie Sheen up to these days?

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother, a real Alan Harper-type of snivelling parasite, has been sleeping on my sofa for over a week since his girlfriend threw him out. If I kick him out, the guilt will eat me alive, but now my wife has informed me I’m never getting sex again until he’s gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 204

Another Luigi moment

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 21:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I seized at the bottom of the stairs and broke a rib. I don't have enough money to pay the bill. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 63

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The Top

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 328

You deserved it 4 885

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 349

You deserved it 3 827

Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 963

You deserved it 6 211

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 982

You deserved it 11 092

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 386

You deserved it 80 501

Today, I called my mother to hear how my dog was doing, because she had been taking care of her while I was moving. My mom told me she had put her down a couple of days ago, cause she was sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 217