By StrandedWhale - 03/11/2013 07:21 - United Kingdom
The Top
By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto
By Anonymous - 11/11/2009 00:28 - United States
Absolute beginners
By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States
Romantic move
By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States
By KatzVKatz - 24/07/2015 21:51 - Slovenia - Novo Mesto
KatzVKatz tells us more.
By ugh - 01/10/2009 15:49 - United States
Not so merry Christmas
By Holly Jolly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
Not in front of Him
By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 06/01/2010 18:19 - United States
By HatedbyBras - 14/06/2009 21:37 - Netherlands
By ick - 31/07/2010 01:44 - United States
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.
By foreveravirgin - 15/08/2012 19:07 - United States - New Orleans
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By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 06:07 - United States
By phlyingphuck - 19/07/2009 15:12 - United States
By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia
Dumbass
By notrocketscience - 07/05/2012 15:57 - United States - West Monroe
Bad boy
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Choking hazard
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By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore
Quiet
By Anonymous - 07/08/2011 01:40 - United States
Meat
By ohmyx3 - 30/04/2009 02:09 - United States
By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada
By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach
Keywords
Hey, I didn't think this would get published, but here it is! Now for some explanations: 1. I did watch Pokemon when I was younger and I liked it. When he dared me to name 10 first gen Pokemon I was sure I could do it ... Guess my memory is not that good, but I already know that :D 2. He did admit eventually that he was sorta kinda joking. I knew he couldn't be serious about dumping me, but he did take the joke a bit too far, like yelling at me and sulking for half an hour. 3. I do take interest in his interests, we talk a lot about the games he plays and the series he watches, and do a lot of stuff together. We do have a lot in common. It's just that where he likes Pokemon to the point of fangirling about it, I'm the same with Harry Potter and Dr. Who. 4. I asked him to name ten spells from Harry Potter and he couldn't do it, so I guess we're even! Ha! :D