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By zahra_786 - 11/04/2013 09:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 023

You deserved it 8 917

zahra_786 tells us more.

zahra_786 19

Thursday 11 April 2013 22:48

Hey guys OP here! I loved reading the comments! So this was the first week or so he had moved in, so I set up my playstation 3 for us and the other three flatmates to allow him to get to know us and speak to us since he was new here! When I kept beating him, he started shouting stuff in Italian (he's a foreign student) and then at the end he started using my religion as the reason for my win! LOL. I also beat his ass on FIFA..but he had no ridiculous excuse there ! :Dp.s. he's hopefully moving out soon so its all good!

By kelly - 21/03/2011 07:07 - Estonia

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 333

You deserved it 4 787

By adopteddd - 28/06/2011 14:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 607

You deserved it 3 092

By w00tz - 27/03/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 821

You deserved it 9 335

By fuck russia and fuck georgia too - 09/03/2014 18:38 - Azerbaijan

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 068

You deserved it 10 385

By honorstudent - 13/05/2010 02:18 - United States

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 8 262

Quote of the day

By lol - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 212

You deserved it 30 867

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 09:01 - Singapore

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 197

You deserved it 110 300

Inappropriate!

By Anonymous - 29/09/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 151

You deserved it 3 414

Not the sharpest tool

By Mothering - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 575

You deserved it 12 766

By klynn267 - 09/05/2012 11:03 - United States - Portland

Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 525

You deserved it 6 107

By Neutered - 27/11/2012 19:52 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 168

You deserved it 6 749

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 21:03 - United States - Marinette

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 632

You deserved it 7 533

By The Joker? - 31/07/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 911

You deserved it 3 472

By kggggg - 12/08/2010 11:00 - United States

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 796

You deserved it 47 417

By Anonymous - 15/04/2014 16:37 - United States - Erie

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 890

You deserved it 10 073

By NoPainNoGain - 17/09/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 442

You deserved it 2 609

By Kevin - 10/03/2010 08:39 - Canada

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 512

You deserved it 2 808

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 07:02 - United States

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 304

You deserved it 3 077

Kinky

By whatever - 23/03/2009 06:46 - United States

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 769

You deserved it 67 886

You kinda deserved that one

By hlev24 - 03/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 188

You deserved it 110 110

By hating labels - 23/10/2012 08:21 - Australia

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 961

You deserved it 5 494

Desperate for D

By sadsadperson - 07/09/2011 08:51 - Australia

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 944

You deserved it 30 907

By krushr - 23/01/2011 05:32 - Canada

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 336

You deserved it 5 350

By hotride - 15/12/2010 16:34

Today, I woke up to the sound of sirens. My ex-girlfriend, who I had broken up with the day before, had set my car on fire. I had just finished restoring it. I was going to insure it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 819

You deserved it 6 500

jd7546 tells us more.

jd7546 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 16:47

I had just started restoring it when I got it, and nobody would insure it when I got it. it looked like a junkyard heap of shit, I just got it back the day before I broke up with her. still have the burnt up shell in my drive way that I have to dispose of :(

By Aprilfools - 12/04/2009 10:47 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 136

You deserved it 7 977