Relatable, Acne Health Zit remedy

Zit remedy

Anonymous - - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

31 216

7 352

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Puffy

blow me - - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

24 263

3 519

Ten out of ten performance, no notes

Jesska - - United States

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

33 759

7 244

Creeped out

NotASpiderMan - - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

21 973

6 227

Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

53 889

4 727

The struggle

lizi - - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

4 066

846

Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

38 129

2 487

Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

22 456

2 187

Right back!

Anonymous -

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

3 421

939

Tasty

chew toy - - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

4 570

968

Suspicious

StevieMe - - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

18 787

99 841

SirEBC 7

Thursday 3 March 2011 23:31

I find this FML offensive. How the **** would you feel if a swollen tomato said "My farmer grew me for too long and now I look like a girl with a nasty spot on her chin. FML" Yeah, it wouldn't feel too good, would it?

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 4 March 2011 2:50

I once had the unfortunate experience of being a tomato, my advice is to avoid your Italian part of town. Papa Giuseppe is still after me.

sgenfkshe 5

Friday 4 March 2011 1:00

lol I don't think that was a spot clearer....

jess6blondie9 2

Friday 4 March 2011 1:05

It could have been. She might have just had an allergic reaction to it.

jess6blondie9 2

Friday 4 March 2011 1:07

Hahaha! That's was a good one boners(:

Mrsgarcia 3

Friday 4 March 2011 1:13

Ydi for being self conscious, if he asked you on a date you think he's gonna look at your chin? Stupid ass.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Friday 4 March 2011 3:50

That was along the lines of what I was thinking. It's one spot, does it really matter so much? I can't imagine he would cancel the date or suddenly lose interest. He already knows you're not perfect.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 4 March 2011 1:14

what's the difference between a tomato and a swollen tomato?

AsianCookie247 14

Friday 4 March 2011 6:30

well the first one you eat, the other is on OP's face.

teedygee 2

Friday 4 March 2011 1:24

flames! flames on the side of my face!

xNikkiez 0

Friday 4 March 2011 1:23

Rofl. Boners your hilarious. :P

TheJtSwift 0

Friday 4 March 2011 1:24

That's what you get for stealing from your sister!!!!

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Friday 4 March 2011 1:44

YDI for attempting to FORNICATE on your date. I know you were going to try it. YDI for having a spotty chin and not getting checked for leprosy, you unclean thing. YDI for stealing from your sister, and for even HAVING a sister, and for even having a chin either.