Sex Intimacy You've tried this before, right?

You've tried this before, right?

xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mr Floppy

rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

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firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

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Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

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Running gag

needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

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Holes

Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

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ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

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Quickshot

anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

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Not feeling it

thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

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Booming

Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

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Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

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xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

redshortsx 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:30

dump his ass and drooping dick

somethingnew319 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:30

epoh_fml 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:32

It is called a flacid penis--not "unerected."

blland 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:42

no picky!

whataloadofbull 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:04

you spelled flaccid wrong retard.

frankie1331 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 7:46

No ****! unerected! (:

epoh_fml 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:37

*flaccid. stinkin iPhone. . .

ddlovatolover 23

Saturday 19 October 2013 6:38

The "edit" button's there for a reason. And anyway, if you're on your phone, shouldn't there be autocorrect?

spreadtheword1o1 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:42

nuchey 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:48

J_Rodriguez112 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:52

thats sad you should be deeply hurt he cant get a erection with you. lols

Ottoman81 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:57

iranoutofnames 6

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:00

axxhelairon 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:02

mander10 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:41

banananut 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 9:51

UltimateGIRness 16

Monday 1 October 2012 20:57

Where did that come from.Are you pms ing or somethin

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

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Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

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Today, my abusive ex came over to my apartment, hoping to "work things out." Not only did we break up more than 13 years ago, but I moved to a different state just to get away from him. FML

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Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

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Today, there's an ongoing family situation which is stressful and frustrating. I had to deal with something having to do with that for my sister-in-law. I was annoyed and wanted to vent to my partner; but I didn’t double check who I was texting, and I sent a text about my SIL to my SIL. FML

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Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

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