Intimacy Love You OK dude?

You OK dude?

kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

47 015

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Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

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Crazy nights

Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

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LadyDean - 29/11/2011 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML

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The Phone Call

turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

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It's sus

Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

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Date grape

Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

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StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

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What happened?

....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

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gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

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thawny_fml 21

Monday 27 August 2012 16:12

That is screaming YouTube

DocBastard 38

Monday 27 August 2012 16:22

Boyfriend: Aw. Wook at you! Wook at the widdle pee pee! Isn't it cute! OP: No. But it IS little.

sarah6786 14

Tuesday 28 August 2012 1:09

I'm having a hard time understanding the logic behind this.

WatsonIsThatDood 6

Tuesday 28 August 2012 1:40

Doesn't everyone do that!

mrboomstik 3

Tuesday 28 August 2012 1:43

Go get you some of that!

beefstew_54 3

Tuesday 28 August 2012 3:03

aw how....special

gozar_fml 1

Tuesday 28 August 2012 3:05

Someone you only see once a month - that's not really your boyfriend.

lostfaithinpppl 19

Tuesday 28 August 2012 3:37

I was thinking the same thing, 134.

missalkali 8

Tuesday 28 August 2012 3:45

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Tuesday 28 August 2012 3:47

charming...

SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25

Tuesday 28 August 2012 8:41

So he shows up DRUNK to your house, after a MONTH of not seeing you, just so he could use your place to crash after a night of bar-hopping that you obviously weren't invited to..? User-much! I wouldn't have let him in. Instead, I would have told him to come back when sober.