Intimacy, Embarrassing, Awkward Contraception Why would you stick that there?

Why would you stick that there?

Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Rushed

Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

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Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

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Pet detective

badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

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PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

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omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

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Missing

Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

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Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

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Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

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Good boy

Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

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Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

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CherishFlowers 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:09

Eww... don't keep it in your pocket.

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:10

OH WELL... uh, at least they know you're safe!

rockmyworld 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:06

haha, give the OP a break. He's clearly saving up some stuff for his scrapbook =)

capital_seven 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:12

YDI for KEEPING A USED CONDOM IN YOUR POCKET. FYL too 'cause I'm a merciful God. -turns up nose-

spillproof 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 11:49

I hope it was tied.

xnachox 6

Thursday 10 September 2009 1:20

NASTY!! Who carries a used one around?

Ruddah_Bagga 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 9:58

Dude, that blows. I'm so sorry :(

aq2004 0

Monday 14 September 2009 2:53

YDI for having a used condom in your pocket, you sick ****.

LOLgasmic123 9

Tuesday 22 September 2009 5:51

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wtf....wat did u plan on usin it agen or sumthin???

freddy8289 1

Wednesday 23 September 2009 3:34

how could this possibly be a YDI?

cwcwake24 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 23:35

seriously wtf who keeps used condoms

faveat_fortuna 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 3:25

ok SERIOUSLY! what is it with men sticking used condoms in their pockets?! i had a guy do that one time, its just GROSS people!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

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Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

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Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

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Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked me is what football team I like. When I told them I didn't really like sports, they immediately stopped talking to me and haven't since, even when I ask them work-related questions. FML

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Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

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Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I wanted to be spoon-fed, affectionately NOT sexually. I think it's something to do with my eating, my parents, and developmental issues. Now he won't stop claiming it's really a fetish. FML

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