My condolences!

Your "real" father and/or mother is whoever raised you. I am sorry that it turned out this way, but in a great many cases birth fathers or mothers are reluctant to meet their offspring that they did not raise. There is alway a reason that a birth parent stayed out of the life of children that they may have created. Most times it's just that they were unready, unable, or unwilling to raise a child, at least at that point in their lives... Sometimes people get fantasies that their birth parent or parents are going to make their lives somehow more complete. But it's usually just a fantasy. If they couldn't take care of you as a child, why think that they are magically now going to make your life better somehow... By the way, I am an adoptive father. The hard work of being a parent is caring for and raising that child when they needed someone to love and care for them - not in fertilizing an egg and then taking off. Not all parents either by birth or adoption are great parents, but the ones who stuck with you as you grew up are your "real" parents.

As an adoptee that has never been able to make contact with my bio parents my heart goes out to you.