Miscellaneous, Family and Pranks: Where is it?

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 100

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Same thing different taste

By kelsjenks - 27/07/2011 13:50 - Canada

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 713

You deserved it 3 081

Call the police!

By ChangingTheLocks - 13/07/2019 12:30

Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 162

By xnickx - 16/04/2009 14:47 - United States

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 696

You deserved it 58 945

F is for Family

By pissed - 12/10/2020 04:59

Today, I came home to find my husband’s disgusting pig of a sister let herself in while we were at work and decided to take a nap in our bed. Not only did she not ask to visit, she left a huge smelly period stain on my favorite sheets. No apology, no attempt to clean up. I didn’t give her a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 97

Why mother, why?

By Gee, thanks mom - 15/02/2022 14:00

Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 99

By queenbee - 14/06/2015 13:31 - United States - Media

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 2 512

Weird awakening

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 04:00

Today, I woke up to my sister sucking my toes because she was drunk, wanted to borrow one of my toe rings but couldn’t get it off, and thought spit would lubricate it off with her tongue. She doesn’t even live here, it’s my house. She used her spare key to get in at 1 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 124

Dude, gross!

By utensils123 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 773

You deserved it 2 373

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 93

By WhatTheF - 11/07/2016 05:42

Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 924

You deserved it 1 134

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 8 July 2025 0:49

Change your locks and don’t give him a spare key again.

DLBL 20

Monday 7 July 2025 15:29

OMG. I would report this to the police. Even if they can't do anything about it, it would be on record. Also, obviously he lost his spare key privilege.

Comments

DLBL 20

Monday 7 July 2025 15:29

OMG. I would report this to the police. Even if they can't do anything about it, it would be on record. Also, obviously he lost his spare key privilege.