When there is edible food in my fridge By Lewis - 18/12/2018 18:00 Actually, it never happens... I agree, your life sucks 258 You deserved it 84 Share Tweet Share
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML I agree, your life sucks 16 632 You deserved it 30 815
Today, my girl and I with got caught having sex in the car by cops. They thought we were smoking bongs because the windows were foggy. FML I agree, your life sucks 900 You deserved it 866
Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week-old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later, I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 704 You deserved it 29 720
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 409 You deserved it 4 495
Today, I had my first "hot" dream in a while. In the dream, my husband and I finally got cozy and comfortable, but just as we were about to start our banging, our toddlers interrupted us. So, my kids are cockblocking me even in my dreams. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 353 You deserved it 268
Today, I learned to never eat chicken wings, loaded mashed potatoes with sour cream, cheese, bacon, ranch, and bubbly soda prior to a esthetician appointment. I had uncontrollable gas and made the most foul smelling farts in her face while she was trying to wax my butthole. I was asked to leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 263 You deserved it 2 268
Calm yourself!
I’ll just grab a quick snack & no one will ever know...