Miscellaneous Welcome home! - FML

Welcome home!

Anonymous - 25/08/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked, until the lavender caught on fire, which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

34 260

11 745

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

29 641

4 707

A+ for effort…

I tried - 03/10/2025 22:00

Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML

436

105

Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

29 793

76 033

shitty candles - 01/12/2014 07:30 - United States - Issaquah

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

34 612

3 716

Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

7 291

72 571

agstone - 09/08/2017 23:15

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

4 099

227

CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

16 831

29 383

Do you have no sense of smell?

Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML

99

444

Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

8 224

52 422

knews - 18/03/2010 04:46 - United States

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

26 428

8 219

configurator 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:23

And that's why you use lavender *oil* for the scent...

aback 4

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:21

Newspapers make lousy candleholders.

0heartless 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 4:47

hey dipshit whys the newspaper next to the candels?

farhil 14

Thursday 27 August 2009 7:24

I think 48 was replying to 46, not 47

cmac86 23

Wednesday 2 December 2009 9:00

who makes candles unless you're at silver dollar city?

themoost 4

Saturday 1 May 2010 9:15

it's the thought that counts :)

stevenmx86 7

Monday 11 April 2011 12:58

Leaves + fire = more fire? Who'd have thought? Dumb ass...

lucy_moff09 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 15:12

it's the thought that counts

StanSmith2013 26

Saturday 24 May 2014 5:01

Damn nature always trying to kill everyone!

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I'd been getting ready to hear my boyfriend's proposal, as his friends had told me he'd talked to them about planning it. He showed up at my house out of the blue… to tell me he's breaking up with me, only to find out he proposed to his ex hours later. FML

1 314

97

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

52 431

6 167

Today, my wife of twelve years got drunk and told me the best sex she’s ever had was with her first ex after they broke up. FML

1 024

196

Today, as I was excited to celebrate our second anniversary, I paid for my girlfriend's three hour trip down and dinner, only for her to come over, break up with me, and then leave. Her Instagram story later read, "Don't let anything spoil your mood." FML

1 098

102

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

44 126

5 774

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

32 675

2 634