Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 90 Share Tweet Share
Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 163 You deserved it 5 080
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 111 You deserved it 816
Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 300 You deserved it 2 085
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 886 You deserved it 13 002
Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 877 You deserved it 11 725
Today, my son said his first word. It was the N-word. We are white. I need to have a talk with my husband immediately. FML I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 149
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.