Mother in law, Farts and Kids: Toot toot!

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 106

You deserved it 50 283

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Same thing different taste

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 514

You deserved it 30 142

It's the thought that counts

By Mommy - 23/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, my toddler proudly presented me a "beautiful drawing" he'd made... on my freshly painted living room wall. When I started to scold him, he said, "But I made it for YOU, Mommy!" Now I feel guilty for being mad at Picasso Jr, and having to paint over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 173

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 14 099

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 341

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 198

You deserved it 7 698

F*** my overweight life

By Xibalba - 01/09/2020 14:02

Today, my 5-year-old daughter drew a picture of our family. A typical drawing for a 5-year-old. Sticks and straws. One had two round shapes on its chest. "Is that mommy and is that one me?" I asked. "No daddy," she said. "You’re this one," she said while pointing out the one with boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 478

Picasso in training

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 169

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 2 973

It's true, though

By humiliated - 20/03/2016 11:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 158

You deserved it 2 363

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 239

You deserved it 363

Sessee 4

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:09

Well, when I was a kid, my mom told me that lowercase M's are basically upside-down butts. Of course, I shared that with my entire kindergarten class.

lizwriteslove 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:02

Good job.

Comments

CheezerX 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 21:35

pssh forget the mother in law shes ur kid...lol funny tho atleast u made her laugh... and nothings better than a children's laughter.

xf0rg0tt3nx 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:40

a children's laughter? Grammar fail. Though I do agree.. a child's laughter is so adorable.

EGS830 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 21:35

Your MIL sounds like she needs to get a sense of humor. Everybody has a butt and everybody farts - no shame in talking about it with your kid.

kristina3514 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 21:44

Judgemental in laws suck. But remeber she's YOUR daughter!!! U were having a fun time with her and having a father figure in her life that loves her is amazing. Also what is wrong with drawing a butt! Haha

derailed 1

Wednesday 29 April 2009 21:52

At least you're not retarded enough to post an FML from the other person's perspective in your comment.

helpless4 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:00

Not an FML really but funny!! and quite cute.

Avenging_Angel 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:07

lol, you're a cool dad :)

mouseintern 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:12

I'm all for parents having fun with their kids and not always being so serious, but seriously, you drew a fart? That's just a bit too childish.

A7X5989 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:25

Not FML or YDI but its funny haha

Insert_Wit_Here 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:39

#37, being childish was kinda the point, he was trying to make his child laugh. I'd be pretty disappointed in humanity if I was seen as "childish" for trying to appeal to my own kid as best I possibly could. She's 6. She's not gonna laugh at a venn diagram of the current economic status of the United States.