Work: Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to...

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 724

You deserved it 1 656

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Same thing different taste

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 794

You deserved it 5 118

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 146

You deserved it 3 789

Where on Earth do you work?

By Embarrassed ass. - 23/10/2015 04:05 - United States - Oregon City

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 3 950

It's a match!

By Ren - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Medina

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 657

You deserved it 5 798

Invasion of privacy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 21:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 536

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 977

You deserved it 3 817

Are you good?

By I tried - 23/11/2025 00:00

Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 265

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 153

You deserved it 2 881

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 817

You deserved it 11 984

By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 868

You deserved it 2 190

HeyyShayy 15

Monday 21 December 2015 14:22

You should've said something! Isn't there a law against public indecency?

anonymuse_fml 31

Monday 21 December 2015 14:15

How does someone not notice that? Wouldn't it be cold?

Comments

vikky538 28

Tuesday 22 December 2015 1:16

Which eye your trying to make eye contact? The third eye on his penis?

moocowmilk0 19

Tuesday 22 December 2015 1:39

How do you not feel that? what the hell

Xion0014 20

Tuesday 22 December 2015 5:03

He probably rubbed one off in the car, fell asleep and woke up and drove to the gas station... It's the only reasonable explanation ..

militarybrat 21

Tuesday 22 December 2015 5:41

Why didnt you just tell him? It could have been accidental and now hes continuing to walk around with it out. You could have prevented that...

mileymolly 8

Wednesday 23 December 2015 4:58

I would never be able to say anything. I very non confrontational.he did notice when I refused to look at him and zipped himself up

sariberii 8

Tuesday 22 December 2015 6:01

That's public indecency, you could have refused to help him and called the cops

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Tuesday 22 December 2015 8:30

"Ummm excuse me sir, ur peters peeking"

Krycek_fml 19

Tuesday 22 December 2015 13:50

I wonder if he lost a bet or was just high

danielcho7727 20

Tuesday 22 December 2015 17:28

you mean penis contact

daynanance 9

Tuesday 22 December 2015 18:05

That must have been hard...

StryperFreak 8

Tuesday 22 December 2015 20:41

It was fake lol. I've seen this as an internet joke several times

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The Top

Today, an older lady loudly accused me of masturbating on the public bus. I simply had my eyes closed and was twirling my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 244

You deserved it 787

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 981

You deserved it 2 785

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 8 625

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 949

You deserved it 56 007

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 76 668

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 816

You deserved it 5 576