Love, Sex and Intimacy: Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm... - FML

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 092

You deserved it 8 970

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 955

You deserved it 7 122

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Spicy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 778

You deserved it 17 938

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 2 553

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 661

You deserved it 4 749

Sex is out the window

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 765

You deserved it 36 631

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 543

You deserved it 15 588

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 1 816

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 617

You deserved it 24 393

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 763

You deserved it 89 139

Watcha doin'?

By DamnThatsHarsh - 16/10/2009 18:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 456

You deserved it 4 365

Next

Top comments

BrandOldDucky 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:46

Wow. Step up your sex game bro...

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:16

Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!

Comments

d00d_c0m3_0n 0

Friday 27 February 2009 1:27

Lmao, I love how almost everyone agrees with her about the show. I don't watch LOST but i LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Favorite TV shows are sometimes just more important than sex.

pcow 0

Friday 27 February 2009 2:43

Really? For a show like Lost?

monabu 0

Friday 27 February 2009 6:46

Sorry man, I would have done the same thing as her.

Jimmy_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 7:41

you my friend should introduce her to the world of online tv episodes. It'd save you and her a lot of pleasure.

I_N_F_E_R_N_O 0

Friday 27 February 2009 22:29

she's a keeper.

dragon_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 22:46

hahaaa, I would do the same for Heroes!

hobbitfeet13 0

Monday 2 March 2009 21:09

I feel your pain dude, my girlfriend did the same exact thing to me on the season premier, sitting there after Psych class, foolin around, and then right after i get her off, she looks at the clock and says she has to go.......

perstephane 4

Monday 2 March 2009 21:24

At least you didn't get ditched for an episode of "The Hills" or something equally revolting. Next time suggest you fool around on commercials...

gamerpro2000 0

Monday 2 March 2009 22:32

Wow. I would seriously not put out to a girl anymore if she did that. That was f***ed up. I mean, that would be a serious self esteem crusher. If a guy isn't doing something you like, let him know.

OhNoImRuined 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 0:38

Im with this chick. LOST isnt just a show, its a LIFESTYLE. you can never miss an episode. srry bro!

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The Top

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Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 1 262

Today, I got my 11-year old son the NERF Elite 2.0 Shockwave RD-15 Blaster that he has been begging for as his birthday gift. Guess who the primary target is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 983

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 237

You deserved it 341

Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 781

You deserved it 825

Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 140

Today, my cat keeps walking into my room and screaming at me to pay attention to him. When I try to do so, he moves away. Then he yells at me from a distance. I don't wanna play this game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 186