Intimacy Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where...

rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

Set the scene

Fire0fisis - 23/05/2012 09:38 - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

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DDD - 31/01/2009 15:04 - France

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his Facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies, asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

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Life's a beach

Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

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threw my underwear out too - 03/12/2017 00:00 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, my girlfriend and I took a walk on the beach at night. We were completely alone, so she started blowing me. It was great for the first five minutes, but she had just eaten dinner and (apparently) wasn't feeling great. I ended the night in the shower picking vomit out of my pubes. FML

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He had to find out eventually!

Telley21 - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

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Like in the movies

alltern8ive - - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

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Matt - 29/08/2010 04:53 - Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

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Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

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Downhill from here

forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

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pinchy - 07/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

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Tommy_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:31

That's one nasty way to get crabs.

thewelshmetal 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:44

maybe he likes fish sauce with his meat.

thewelshmetal 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:44

maybe he likes fish sauce with his meat.

silentfirefly 0

Monday 2 March 2009 7:20

@8 I applaud you

oyster42 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 3:57

#3, the problem is that salt causes a woman's private area to itch and burn horribly ... pretty much the same thing happened to me once, only it involved hot sauce from Hooters wings....

pdoom 0

Monday 16 March 2009 0:48

I know some other people have said it, but yeah be glad it wasn't hot sauce. That stuff even burns on guy's junk too.

podrummer9209 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:38

Ugh, that would suck... I don't envy you.

Laughing_is_cool 4

Saturday 21 March 2009 4:55

gross haha

sarahhha 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 0:34

BURNNNN

Tommy_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:31

That's one nasty way to get crabs.

FMLFML123123 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 15:31

hahaha wiiiin!

bugmenotmofo 34

Friday 11 June 2010 3:11

no loss

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:52

How do you even get hot sauce on your crotch other than someone absentmindedly touching you after handling it? But yeah... I would have told him... No. That's kind of gross.