Love Intimacy Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during... - FML

TheLostCauseFML - 25/10/2017 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Make believe

somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

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Get it on

xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

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Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

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Turn off

no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

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Groucho

beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

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Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

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Repetition

Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

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Woof woof

kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

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thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

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Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

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NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

cmchappy 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:09

moonlight77 28

Thursday 26 October 2017 1:15

Idk about you... but I don’t know too much people who want to marry Trump..

DavyJoe 13

Thursday 26 October 2017 4:44

No, divorce him...immediately

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

merican_redneck4 11

Tuesday 22 January 2019 0:35

You do realize he isn’t Bernie Sanders right

Stiggy626 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:36

yeah he's every girl's fantasy forreal

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:58

Does he at least remember your name?

Jurbla 14

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:02

Because if there's one thing that definitely needed more politics, it's absolutely nothing. However, if there was something AFTER absolutely nothing that politics should be added to, it would DEFINITELY be sex.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:55

Did you get to pee on him?

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 25 October 2017 8:21

Nothing dries up pussy faster than false promises.

Selene1090 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:19

God, that would make me so dry...

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:42

Why on earth would he think that was sexy?

Friesian 7

Thursday 26 October 2017 23:11

I don’t think he was trying to be sexy. He was trying to be funny.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

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Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife Facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

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Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

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Today, my girlfriend’s brother FaceTimed her from Brazil to talk about his business. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but we were in the middle of our fourth reschedule attempt to celebrate my birthday. I was sitting naked next to her when she took the call, and she sees no problem. FML

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Today, my grandma posted an embarrassing childhood photo on my school's events page. I told her everyone could see it, and asked if she could take it down. She freaked and commented on it, apologizing for posting it. Now I feel guilty for embarrassing her, and it's still on the page. FML

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Today, I spent all day cleaning for my grandparents to come over, only for my grandfather and father to interrupt me, talk over me, and treat me like I'd done something wrong. I'm autistic and was infodumping. They know this. FML

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