Miscellaneous: Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML - FML

By chickenshit4 - 15/05/2016 00:57 - United States - Pine Ridge

Spicy

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 260

You deserved it 3 096

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 466

You deserved it 6 303

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 3 661

By hickhick - 07/07/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 1 743

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 024

You deserved it 47 435

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 327

You deserved it 3 345

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 594

You deserved it 2 952

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 190

You deserved it 4 763

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 128

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 480

You deserved it 10 172

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 505

Next

Top comments

feven 32

Sunday 15 May 2016 18:55

Get it mom.

sayhisoph 26

Sunday 15 May 2016 18:50

I boxed off "glad it wasn't me" ... I really regret that. I wish it was me.

Comments

Muerteds 18

Tuesday 17 May 2016 2:57

Jealousy is a stinky cologne.

PuffPastry 8

Tuesday 17 May 2016 6:02

Dude, 43 isn't old at all. Of course she still has a sex life, shes human. Get over it.

sighlifeman 12

Tuesday 17 May 2016 7:24

43 isn't old you know she can have a life of her own.

Ise_fml 6

Tuesday 17 May 2016 9:42

How selfish are you for not wanting your mom to experience this? Love is amazing, and snuggling, kissing, and all the comes with is is as well. Be happy for her.

JamJamz 6

Tuesday 17 May 2016 12:04

Be happy your mom got laid. I wouldn't give a **** if that was my mom.

JimminyCrib 7

Thursday 19 May 2016 15:15

Soooooo she's single????

RealChewyPiano 18

Tuesday 24 May 2016 9:40

Ah yes sorry about that

dt2112 4

Tuesday 31 May 2016 22:05

Sounds like she's still got it! Good for her!

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The Top

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 544

You deserved it 4 952

Today, I told my husband that when I get my birth control taken out later this year, I would like to take a break from it for a while. He just said, "Condoms are too expensive and I don't want to waste $2 every time we do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 070

You deserved it 2 648

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 707

You deserved it 1 977

Today, after a full year of vigorous exercise 7 days a week, and a strict diet of vegetables, fruits, and water, I can proudly say that I've lost half a pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 362

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 161

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 070

You deserved it 273