Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 228

You deserved it 2 621

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 638

You deserved it 135

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 585

You deserved it 256

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 470

You deserved it 4 540

By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 627

You deserved it 2 134

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 066

You deserved it 3 829

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 15/08/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 232

You deserved it 42 249

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 844

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 431

You deserved it 3 276

Freakout

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 628

You deserved it 4 383

It's just windy

By m…… - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Whitley

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 691

You deserved it 2 081

lolasains 7

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:16

Smart mom you got there.

Sinamoi 18

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:19

Poor squirrel...

Comments

brend5033 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 14:55

Poor squirrel...

neander 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 15:05

Hopefully your adopted and the dumb genes die out with your mother.

didthatreallyhap_fml 14

Thursday 22 December 2011 15:44

Actually drowning isn't the worst way to go inhaling water isn't what causes pain, its the holding your breath part that hurts. If you were to inhale a certain amount of water your body would automatically shut itself down in an attempt to preserve itself so that you could be revived... still ftsl

iamyourgod 3

Thursday 22 December 2011 16:44

Its not a lack of breathing that causes suffocating feeling. It's the brain sensing a build up of carbon dioxide in the blood. I'd you inhaled water it's not going to solve anything, your still going to have the same sensation just for less time.

didthatreallyhap_fml 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 8:29

I've almost drowned 3 times as a kid I've swallowed and inhaled lots of water 2 of those times it didn't hurt at all... however when i held my breath my body went hysterical it hurt not being able to inhale or exhale, and i nearly passed out so... as i said before the inhaling of water isn't what hurts its the not being able to breathe part. Technically water is made up of oxygen so it probably didn't hurt due to my body sensing the oxygen in the water maybe? (i don't know i am just guessing could be right or wrong i most definitely don't know the science behind it)

Chris4th 2

Thursday 22 December 2011 16:45

haha you live with your mom.

sassypenguinxox 15

Thursday 22 December 2011 16:54

Wow...i don't know how to respond to that...

J1forTheMoney 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 17:18

Why is your mom playing w squirrels?

mwolverine 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 18:04

oh my god.

haveachat 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 19:41

Your mum just drowned a poor squirrel in a toilet bowl-she thought she was doing the right thing, which makes it even worse, and yet here you are complaining about your CLOTHES?! FML for having to live on earth with people like you.