Love: Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with...

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 621

You deserved it 53 657

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Same thing different taste

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 175

Jealous much?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to say it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 385

You deserved it 5 796

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 293

So…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 775

You deserved it 7 632

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 499

You deserved it 8 544

By traumatised - 11/10/2009 16:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 500

You deserved it 2 796

By Cheese4men - 14/05/2010 23:28 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 631

You deserved it 8 783

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 484

You deserved it 3 719

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 961

You deserved it 11 247

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 323

laurabev 9

Saturday 22 October 2011 12:16

Why would you suck on his fingers??

peete182 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 12:20

Dont suck things that have been holding hamsters

Comments

Lily_lops95 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 17:06

That would be so funny...I honestly think I would cry

leofiona 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 17:10

kinky!

havocmike 3

Saturday 22 October 2011 17:28

Ydi for apparently dating a 10 year old

paulie1998 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 17:35

T-T

GabbyCharityM 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 17:44

Woah woah woah. Why would he want you to smell how bad hamster pee smells if he's your boyfriend?

IKickPuppiesHard 16

Saturday 22 October 2011 18:16

sucks to be you? :)

kitties_fml 12

Saturday 22 October 2011 18:23

That is RIDICULOUS. I love sucking on my bf's fingers to turn him on but I would never, ever consider doing so after he was touching an animal...

JaykeXD 9

Saturday 22 October 2011 18:52

That one was a zinger!:D

here4theparty 4

Saturday 22 October 2011 19:06

Are you sure the hamster he's talking about is a rodent? "hun, what are you doing?" "just rubbing my hamster babe, ill be done in a few"

smfhasc 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 21:21

so he pissed on himself ? .... and then instead of cleaning up 2x the piss a hamster would produce he decides to tell her to smell it ?

OfficeNinja 5

Saturday 22 October 2011 19:15

And what lesson did we learn today?

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Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then stole my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

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Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 927

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Today, it's my birthday. We were supposed to be going to a nice Italian restaurant at 6.30 p.m. Instead, the whole region is going into a snap lockdown from 6 p.m., due to the recent community transmissions of Covid-19. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 164

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

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You deserved it 39

Today, I got into a car accident. I hit a pole in the middle of the night trying to avoid a car that was coming at me head on. Actually, it was just the reflection of my own headlights in the windows of a bus stop. FML

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Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

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You deserved it 5 522