Miscellaneous: Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative...

By willieboom - 30/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 732

You deserved it 3 061

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Same thing different taste

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 857

You deserved it 2 433

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 007

You deserved it 3 455

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 164

By thanks - 02/05/2014 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 3 528

By AM - 31/08/2015 21:46

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 1 949

By Anonymous - 14/04/2018 15:00

Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 646

You deserved it 651

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 749

You deserved it 5 792

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 107

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 3 350

Thanks for that, dad!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2019 01:00

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 259

CassT 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:33

Oho damn, no one needs to hear that. Happy birthday, man ! :)

bosco_kk 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:37

Once my dad told me his complete sex life, with horrid, horrid details. So I feel your pain. FYL, and happy birthday by the way.

Comments

gurlgurlgurl 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:49

ouch. you're scarred :)

illeyad 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:07

Happy Birthday, but lol- your dad is awsome!

ssfchik17 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:09

happy birthday but im really sry ur dads an perv.

Glam_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:11

Aww, happy birthday! That's one strange father you have there.. Honestly, what kind of parents discuss their sex life with their children?? I know I certainly don't want to here about my parents' sex lives, and I'm sure they don't want to hear about mine. FYL

quietgirl 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:11

I cannot believe all the people saying "holy crap your 30 and your dads the only living relative you have?" im 15 and i have no living relatives at all. Its called life people. shit happens. You must all be really happy and have wholesom families if you think thats weird. OP-im sorry. Happy Birthday.

Weil 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:42

Old people are hot.

ohhsnapp 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:54

wow thats not awkward or anything. happy birthday tho.

genius_girl16 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:02

ewwwwwwwwwwww old people should not be doin it. No one over the age of 30 should have sex its just disgusting. Everything starts to sag and no one, not even ur partner wants to see that! and OP are u sure that ur dad is the only livingg realitive. Wat about second cousins or your third aunt twice removed. DONT LIE!