Work: Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't...

By fattymcbutterpants - 19/06/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 3 531

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 03:36 - United States

Today, I'm babysitting three children under the age of seven. They have no discipline, don't listen, scream all the time, won't nap, terrorize my dog, and have peed their pants a collective 5 times today. I am not getting paid for this. Their mother has no plans to come get them any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 704

You deserved it 9 737

Dog hater?

By Elizabeth Haygood - 13/05/2021 04:01

Today, I had a phone interview for a better position at work. I've been training my puppy recently not to bark. I put on dog-calming videos while she was in the kennel. During the interview, my neighbor's dog started barking and my dog immediately responded back. My boss ended the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 188

I quit!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - East Carondelet

Today, I'm babysitting kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4 a.m. and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 995

You deserved it 2 247

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 15:00

Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 92

By Lentil - 31/01/2012 13:13 - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 3 949

By MumMatters - 09/09/2016 10:26 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 164

You deserved it 4 241

Stiffed

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 22:00

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 374

No dog for you

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 05:01 - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked my landlord if I could get a dog. He said no, and gave me an illegal rent increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 139

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 686

You deserved it 55 106

Targeted

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 10:01 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, the neighbor's dog has been barking for over 5 hours. It is barking directly at my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 101

TheIllusion 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 12:18

Just be glad it was a blanket and NOT your leg.

EvilDoll 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 12:21

how did you decide that the best way to silence a dog was to let him hump something?

Comments

kristalove 4

Sunday 19 June 2011 18:59

it's really not that big of a deal.

joselyn146 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 19:40

lmao sounds like you had a fun night;)

Blackxhawk 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 19:48

What did u do yesterday if today you were a nanny?

bevo09 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 22:17

be glad there was a blanket over your hand.

suprmidgt 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 22:23

First of all dogs don't only hump when they are horny it is also a dominance thing. Having or not having balls has nothing to do with it. I've seen plenty of fixed female dogs mount otter dogs and start humping. what op (and apparently most of the people on this site) needs to do is learn about dogs then it wouldn't be an issue.