Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 1 938

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 637 254

You deserved it 799 727

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 937

You deserved it 8 714

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 233

You deserved it 10 887

Not funny

By Blue balled by porn - 02/12/2025 20:00

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 265

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 092

You deserved it 657

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 631

You deserved it 9 955

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 392

You deserved it 3 192

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 023

You deserved it 45 667

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 89 317

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 878

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

fixer 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 22:06

#19 made me lol. anyway u screwed. wait til u got a condum next time

Boogers 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:06

Get a condom next time, but thanks for posting it. Me and my friends are still laughing! But yeah, you should have told her afterwards that you have advanced AIDS.

i_am_Screwed 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:52

ahha super aids xD

GoT_IssUes 4

Saturday 25 April 2009 0:12

WOW So let me guess, you gave her the gift of child bearing? And she gave you the gift of std? STUPID on both parts.

synnerr 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 10:47

I wanna know if she's pregnant. I think I let more at the BE MY BABY'S DADDY thing than the rest of it. Rofl. Oh man... Lol.

Dan07 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 3:15

this is the first FML i have ever seen. someone posted it on skype. i laffed for leik 3895 days... i still am...

QJD 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 3:53

Enjoy Fatherhood.

life_sucks10 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 5:30

Aw man that is ****** up. Haha.

chicksoflyjo7 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 6:27

thats sooooo ****** up.

Effeditallup 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 14:25

Wow bro. I'm sorry for ya. Best thing i can do is tell you Plan B. Its expensive but it might be worth it if you really don't want this girl ending up with your kid.