Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 1 936

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 637 254

You deserved it 799 720

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 937

You deserved it 8 714

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 233

You deserved it 10 887

Not funny

By Blue balled by porn - 02/12/2025 20:00

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 250

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 092

You deserved it 656

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 630

You deserved it 9 954

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 392

You deserved it 3 192

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 023

You deserved it 45 667

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 89 317

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 878

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

Caniper 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 13:03

I wouldn't be so harsh on him for the simple fact this means this idiot is responsible for a child.

christina_xx 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 14:53

Wow, I just laughed so hard that I started crying.

shauna_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 16:16

This one HAS to be fake. What girl would ever do that?

Ikasu 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 19:18

So, did she get pregnant?

bigbill245 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:17

you a daddy now?

lol_sup 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:34

#298. You know what makes this even more funny? The fact that if the guy does decide to be a daddy (be it choice or courts), the stupid bitch's life could be even more screwed when she gets forced to pay for the kid. Birth Control Sabotage motherfuckers look it up.

fml147 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 21:21

haha your ******.

Mish_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:16

LOL. Question: WHAT. THE HECK.

Riceman80 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:35

I have one piece of advice for you: Make her go on top. It leaves you with more energy to continue with your day, and the laws of gravity don't lie, man. Her on top means that it won't go into her... although it will make a nasty mess out of your man-region. What's worse, though, a five-minute struggle to clean yourself up, or an 18-year struggle to avoid paying child support? I think you know the answer to that.