By inthedark - 09/02/2010 17:53 - Canada

Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 585
You deserved it 3 692
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

jaydnnx 0

WTF? hahah. that would be quite annoying, I wouldn't take her.

56 1

Comments

pointofthesun 1

u probobly deserved it for making ur ex's life suck I hope ur pain never ends

0 1
in_the_dark 0

Except I didn't do anything to make his life suck, he did that all on his own. ;)

1 0
kira822_fml 0

Give her five dollars to shit on your ex's carpet.

1 0
mollymaykitty 0

she's a little money maker. You should charge her $2 for every one that way you both make a profit off your ex-husbands idea.

0 0
perdix 29

The bounty is $20 when she walks in on you and your new boyfriend.

0 0
in_the_dark 0

Well, ignoring the fact that my fiance is in the NWT right now, locks were made for a reason. :P

3 0
perdix 29

He'll train her to pick locks and up it to $20.50. ;)

0 0
in_the_dark 0

That's part of her punishment, limited outings. He only gets to see her every other weekend as it is and she loves her dad so I wouldn't want to make it hard on her. Plus he's pretty manipulative so I could see him somehow turning it around on me if I tried to.

0 0
in_the_dark 0

Shoot.. I'll just have to make her bracelets and anklets out of bells for when she is home. ;) Edit: This was supposed to be in reply to perdix.

3 0
perdix 29

Hey, in_the_dark, I'll make you a deal: Point me to a bar where your ex hangs out. For 5 bucks (US) and all the Diet Cokes I can drink, every time he starts to hit on a girl, I'll walk up to them and say, "Hey, aren't you the guy with the freakishly tiny penis?" (Or any other phrase you pump me with.) A little pricier than 3 Canadian dollars a tantrum, but well worth it, I should imagine. Do we have a deal?

4 0
in_the_dark 0

Hahaha, well.. I already have a large supply of diet coke!

0 0
perdix 29

Nice, but bars rarely let you BYODC. Do you like my "phrase that pays" or would you suggest a different one?

0 0
in_the_dark 0

Hahaha, I guss you are right. It's a pretty good phrase, but maybe something that involves using his name might be better, that way, the girl thinks you know him! Hahaha, as funny as this is though I'm sure he's not even allowed to go to a bar. His new wife is pretty paranoid.. no wonder though.

0 0
I_am_stupid_also 6

ohhhhhh, Sorry about your little girl, but bribery is the least of your worries. Time to start teaching her about guys. In this case, tell her that if she wants a new Wii or whatever, she can just tell your ex that either she gets one or she mentions to his new wife about how daddy likes his new girlfriend better.

2 0
perdix 29

OK, in_the_dark, new deal. I didn't know he already married again. This one will set you back, 8 US dollars and I'll help myself to your stash of Diet Cokes. You give me his name and address, and I will put on a tranny outfit, barge into his house when the hosebag wife is there, and act like a she-male hooker and tell him that I just tested positive for anal warts and he may want to get himself checked out. All for 8 bucks! I'm only doing this because you are an FMLer. Deal?

2 0
SephoraSocialite 0

how about OP outsmart your husband and give your kid more money to do it back to him. he's a dick for that. nothing is more embarassing than out of control kids.

0 0
julesxox_fml 0

one word: payback!

0 0