Miscellaneous: Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee... - FML

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 793

You deserved it 76 033

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 72 569

By appaluver - 03/09/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house and accidentally blew out a candle that was supposed to be lit for seven days straight. It was in honor of her grandmother who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 775

You deserved it 14 793

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 12 541

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 108

This party is lit

By Tyler_Padgett - 24/05/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box, "Face this side towards crowd for the best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on its side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 981

You deserved it 59 159

By why? - 01/05/2015 13:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 6 469

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 14 923

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 222

You deserved it 52 417

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 215

By Username - 13/02/2012 21:31 - India

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 4 805

Next

Top comments

wordly 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 0:52

Win :D Those candles are awesome.

greasy_broad 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 1:03

I don't understand why someone would invent a flammable object that can't be put out.

Comments

sucky_a_m 9

Tuesday 7 July 2009 23:44

>D i'm sorry but that was funny. you just made my day.

shittydreamer 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 21:40

bahahaha that sucks im terribly sorry but thats hilarious.

lafromage 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 4:29

that just made my day

iMP0W3R 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 1:54

lol this happened to me once xD your not alone bro!!!

terranada 3

Monday 26 July 2010 6:09

hey i'm a pyro freak too, but safety first man D:

Jessi195 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 15:23

Sooo What Kind Of Dumb Invention Is That! lol buht The Mental Is Tooo Hilairiouss & YDI cuhs You Were Beinq Stupidd.

sayHellotomyKitt 0

Friday 25 March 2011 0:53

you sound like a fun person to be around when you're bored. I bet your friends love you.

Awesome_Guy2468 0

Friday 22 April 2011 17:36

COOL

rottentomatoes 7

Friday 8 July 2011 1:33

epic

reldnahceus 8

Tuesday 3 January 2012 6:09

That's awesome! :)

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Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 292

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 9 166

Today, my dad snapped at me for assuming that Eminem was the one to come up with the phrase, “Will the real ___ please stand up?” since that was the only time I’ve heard it. Apparently, I “always assume things are modern”. So I asked him where in fact the phrase came from and guess what? He didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 221

Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 238

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 11 years is cheating on me. I’m so numb, I don’t even know what to do. We just bought a house together last year, and we have a dog I’m not willing to let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 97

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 971

You deserved it 26 514