Love: Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of...

By Romantic - 15/01/2010 08:33 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 218

You deserved it 4 162

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 220

You deserved it 4 269

By mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - 03/09/2012 08:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 144

You deserved it 2 226

What the…?

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 342

You deserved it 8 325

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 6 237

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 2 915

Romance mystery

By Anonymous - 03/11/2025 15:00

Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 132

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 156

It's the thought that counts…

By Loveandpoetry - 31/05/2011 21:12

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 935

You deserved it 5 375

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 13:18 - United States - Allendale

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 248

You deserved it 44 133

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 17:30

Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 853

You deserved it 364

skyeyez9 24

Friday 15 January 2010 17:35

my husband tried to pull that shit on me once: Oh I invited some friends over so we need to get some more food. When he said "we" he really meant: I invited my friends over so I expect you to cook for them and clean up afterwards. What ever. He can cook for his own friends. I don't expect him to do that if I have my friends over our house.

perdix 29

Friday 15 January 2010 17:54

Don't get any food -- just lay naked on your bed with your legs spread wide, and when everyone comes over, yell "Tuna tacos for everyone!" On second thought, you can buy a massive amount of Vienna Sausages and tell everyone that they are actual size replicas of your husband's dick. That'll show him!

Comments

NeNiTa14 0

Friday 15 January 2010 19:36

haha wow that's fked up xD

rinnyrin 0

Friday 15 January 2010 19:39

Gotta agree that it's a bit effed for him to place the demand on you and raise your expectations, but I can't think of a sweeter way for him to ask a favor.

neilf437 0

Friday 15 January 2010 19:40

haha

meldro 0

Friday 15 January 2010 19:41

well at least the petals was for you, and not for his mistress...

Canuckian 0

Monday 18 January 2010 21:40

I agree, I was expecting the punchline to be 'into the bedroom where I saw him with my sister in bed' or something similar.

batz421 0

Friday 15 January 2010 20:34

lol damnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!

MmeBananas 0

Friday 15 January 2010 20:42

Why is that a FML?.. That's just sweet..

madderakka 0

Friday 15 January 2010 21:03

So, leave a path of crunched potato chips in a path to the kitchen and leave a note that says: "I'm not your servant, make your own food. I'll be out with my friends. Love you!"