Health: Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working...

By joe - 19/11/2012 03:13 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 035

You deserved it 7 010

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Same thing different taste

Work it

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 449

Overzealous Fitbit

By Annoyed - 05/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I decided to try a new fitness tracker. After walking around all day, I looked at my app to check how many steps I’d taken, only to realize the tracker had counted every time I flailed my arms in frustration trying to figure out how to set it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 324

By msassy - 19/05/2012 02:46 - United States - Lexington

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 6 845

Bring headphone jacks back on all smartphones!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - The Hague

Today, I bought new earphones for my phone so I could finally listen to music again. Not an hour later I broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 314

By TomorrowMaybe - 08/10/2016 16:29 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 787

You deserved it 8 276

By stillchubby - 17/02/2011 11:12 - Australia

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 990

You deserved it 5 945

Quality fabric

By louise - 06/03/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I wore a new shirt I was really pleased to have bought. As soon as I put it on, I noticed it was a bit tight, but I thought it would stretch out. By the end of the day, I looked like I was wearing a sausage casing. My coworkers couldn’t stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 402

XXL

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 23:01

Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 286

Appropriate attire required

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was feeling good about it, until I realized that I'd forgotten my workout clothes and was wearing jeans. As I attempted to do squats in my tight jeans, I split them down the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 035

By Iarla_ceapaire93 - 16/06/2015 17:27 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 518

You deserved it 5 575

Sylvasa 15

Monday 19 November 2012 9:04

It's still good you're trying, good luck!! Maybe it was just a kids' armband...

DocBastard 38

Monday 19 November 2012 9:05

There's a strap for that.

Comments

sam43_fml 2

Tuesday 20 November 2012 6:24

It means you have big biceps

knick64 7

Tuesday 20 November 2012 8:32

They do it on purpose! Use it as a goal!

EricaJoy 0

Wednesday 21 November 2012 1:10

The irony...

ChaoSKinG86 7

Wednesday 2 January 2013 21:07

#shouldofhadaV8 You could use duct tape to make the iPod stay

ryanvoiselle 5

Friday 1 August 2014 3:00

So why do you need to work out? You're done

LenUrban 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 22:53

now u gotta fit into it and then u will b really proud

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The Top

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 226

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 137

You deserved it 23 562

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 143

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 846

You deserved it 37 070

Today, I learned that weed brownie plus weed gummies leads to me drooling… on my ex-husband’s cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 2 444

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 510