Miscellaneous: Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents'...

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 1 775

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Same thing different taste

By .__. - 16/07/2013 20:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 898

You deserved it 4 608

Busted

By Anonymous - 14/05/2010 04:33 - Canada

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 098

You deserved it 32 420

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 900

You deserved it 29 926

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 208

You deserved it 16 484

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 314

You deserved it 2 597

Charming dude

By unzucht - 30/05/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 754

You deserved it 2 501

By storyofmylife - 23/02/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 559

You deserved it 4 012

DILF

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 16:55 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 943

You deserved it 1 488

How can I make everything about me?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 185

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 262

You deserved it 3 812

MisterFML123 1

Tuesday 14 August 2012 18:52

Hmmm. Gotta be a little awkward

LolOrDeath 4

Tuesday 14 August 2012 18:54

And your parents always thought you would have an accident before them

Comments

debbster7 18

Tuesday 14 August 2012 19:26

I don't see how this is an FML. You have a new sibling to look forward too! :)

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 14 August 2012 19:33

This is actually in the Parent Handbook, Chapter 12, section 1(a): "Embarrass your child at every opportunity." Section 1(b) goes on to encourage the source of embarrassment to be about sex. Of course, now that I've told you this I'll be forced to kill you.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 14 August 2012 19:39

Come at me, doc.

Demonfish 14

Tuesday 14 August 2012 20:15

You've got a whole lot of killing to do Doc. The whole of the FML community in fact. Chances are, not all of them have read your comment, but why take chances? Good luck!

Schizomaniac 24

Tuesday 14 August 2012 21:33

Killing the FML community would be doing the world a favor. Or 99.9% of the FML community, anyway.

Welshite 39

Tuesday 14 August 2012 21:49

#69: I don't think you'll be part of the .01%

SerendipityRose 26

Tuesday 14 August 2012 22:12

#73: I don't think you will be, either... Seeing as how it's .1%. But, hey, I'm all for narrowing it down even further!

Welshite 39

Tuesday 14 August 2012 22:38

Never expected to be. :) I think the FML gods will shoot me down as one of the first to go. And thank you for the correction on the percentage. I'm so used to people saying 99.99 lol