Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML
Today, I woke up early to make a good impression at my new job. As I was getting dressed, I noticed my shirt was missing a button. I frantically searched for another shirt, but couldn't find one that looked clean enough. I had to go to work in my buttonless shirt, and spent the entire day feeling embarrassed. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML
Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML
Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML
Today, apparently, I can't have a bad day. After school, mom asked me if I'd had a good day. I told her no. Without asking, she went on a tirade about how unsociable I am and how poor my attitude is. I was harassed all day by my classmates because I don't wear expensive brand name clothes like they do. FML
that bee was PISSED!
Why the hell would you aim at something other than the toilet in a port-a-john...I'm surprised you didn't piss all over yourself.