Food Love That's not how that works - FML

That's not how that works

Anonymous - 27/08/2015 16:18 - Denmark

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

23 731

1 959

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Rotten

anon - 05/02/2025 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML

543

86

Stinky neighborhood

Anonymous - 11/08/2021 22:01

Today, I came home to a terrible smell in the apartment. Three hours, and a scoured kitchen later, I took the trash out. The smell was not my apartment, but from just across the alley; a neighbor had moved and emptied their fridge. Six more days of sunned milk until pickup. FML

980

68

Ewww, gross

spekledworf - - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

32 906

2 085

Family portrait

Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

125

528

Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

1 800

400

melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

13 585

1 333

Gross out

lawdwhy - 12/11/2017 22:09

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

3 079

501

Where is it coming from?! - 10/06/2014 02:46 - United States - Brightwood

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

43 006

6 944

Eight hour window

fishyrael - 12/07/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I got home an hour late from to find that my roommate had left the fridge open for the entire 8 hours. The kicker is that I was an hour late because I was at the grocery store, not buying the things that were getting ruined because I thought we had some. FML

958

88

The Stinking of Hill House

laner - 26/07/2019 12:00

Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML

1 628

450

Droneman 17

Friday 28 August 2015 7:02

*slow clap*

beeferjay 34

Friday 28 August 2015 7:10

in soviet russia, milk drinks you

Ninjerman 7

Saturday 29 August 2015 3:16

You are definitely a keeper if your response to this is "Oh no, honey. Just no". That's adorable?

Scorpio01 16

Saturday 29 August 2015 3:54

That's a really smart husband you got there...

Xion0014 20

Saturday 29 August 2015 4:41

This is hardly a febreeze commercial

sammitchgamgee 4

Saturday 29 August 2015 5:20

force him to drink it. He won't **** up again, trust me. He will be dead. I did it with my kid, worked great.

ShirtlessWonder 17

Saturday 29 August 2015 11:45

They aren't really engineers. Trust me, I am science.

Tyjw924 3

Sunday 30 August 2015 7:29

Your husband is a flat out dipshit

ZoePapillon 16

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:58

THE ENGINEER IS A SPY!

SpectreZ 9

Wednesday 18 May 2016 7:14

Why not just throw it out???.

Ya_I_said_it 6

Tuesday 23 August 2016 23:01

ROFL such a man thing to do

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

28 150

5 570

Today, my wife and I got into a massive argument after she started a YouTube channel for our young daughter. I explained that I’m not comfortable with god knows who looking at our kid. Apparently, I’m just being paranoid. She’s already recorded our entire house, including my daughter's bedroom. FML

3 064

205

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

10 362

25 866

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

39 813

4 153

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I know him but I'd forgotten his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it, so, thinking I was clever, I said, "How do you spell your name again?" His name is Rob. FML

16 134

55 462

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

34 399

3 658