Birthday, Weird Love Thanks, I guess…

Thanks, I guess…

Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

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Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

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amber - 19/04/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

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random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

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It's all too much

Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

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Happy Nothing

Cheapass - 07/11/2021 02:00

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML

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Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

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salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

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reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

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Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

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BreynHope 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:43

Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.

BlesstheSilence 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:45

Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!

XxWormFoodxX 14

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:40

He's into some real kinky stuff

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:44

He has plans to fill/feel that hole in your life.

Backslash 6

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:22

He knew you didn't mind crappy gifts so he gave you a crappy gift to make your life less crappy...

pdoggy 1

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:30

Looks like two assholes won't be getting dirty for a while now.

Likian5 26

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:47

......Pun intended?

Coldinside 12

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:47

Prepare your anus OP. Anal is better when you're properly cleaned out.

crazytwinsmom 25

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:54

Is he saying that you're full of shit?

fabricatedego 5

Sunday 22 September 2013 20:48

probably wants to knock on the back door. sorry OP

babybax 6

Sunday 22 September 2013 21:10

He wants anal sex...cant blame the guy

picturescrazy 24

Sunday 22 September 2013 21:58

You seriously couldn't figure it out? Prepare your anus...

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of, "Who the hell is this?" FML

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Today, I spent my first night with my girlfriend. After waiting for weeks, a few seconds were enough to make a fool of myself when I tried to remove her panties twice. It was a tan line. FML

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Today, my boyfriend blackmailed me for nudes. When I told his mother, he convinced her it was a joke, and both were laughing at me for being "paranoid". He now wants me to apologise for "ruining his day". FML

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Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

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Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

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Today, I confidently told a funny story during a holiday family dinner. Nobody laughed, except my younger cousin, who snorted so hard at the way I'd flopped into complete silence, he sprayed cranberry sauce across the table. FML

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