Work So that's a no, I guess

So that's a no, I guess

Marie - 08/06/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

54 485

4 802

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Business casual

Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

34 281

5 598

Memorable presentation

paul - - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

26 570

4 881

Deviated septum blues

Trent - 19/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML

401

Bad timing

screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

27 481

6 093

Spit take

gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

30 491

2 508

Hi guys!

Anonymous - 06/08/2019 02:00

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

1 482

527

Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

23 841

12 131

Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

22 162

23 992

I hate my life

Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

170

268

Brainrot

Susan01 - 08/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

112

519

danplusplus 0

Monday 8 June 2009 23:22

You've got red on you.

blameyourself 0

Monday 8 June 2009 23:22

Maybe you shouldn't snort?

fml05 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 3:17

aww it's okay it was just a mistake, something that could've happened to anyone. Hopefully your director knows that too

ohhhhshizzz 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 3:26

#20: If you are a man, marry me:p I love scrubs! OP: Awkward much? And yes I realize that many people hate when something like what I just wrote is posed as a question. Which is why I wrote it that way :]

ohhhhshizzz 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 3:36

Oh & #57, that movie was friggin' stupid. Just a bunch of music, not scary.

vola97 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 3:38

DID YOU STILL GET THE PROMOTION AWWWWWW11111111!!!!!!!!!!!! SICKOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

paks7 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 4:02

don't snort? why would you voluntarily do that? theres this thing called laughing...

cmac86 23

Tuesday 9 June 2009 4:03

So why would you snort for a "polite" laugh?

RyeBreadBoy 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 8:40

agree with 35. why was he wearing a white tie with a white shirt? sounds like it's either his fault for having poor fashion sense or your fault for using poor grammar.