Intimacy Pleased to see me? - FML

Pleased to see me?

kappaomicron - 19/01/2010 23:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

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Let it all dangle

Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

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Tinker-Bell - 21/11/2008 03:41 - France

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd heard him in the hall, I yelled out, "Come on, don't be shy, bring your dick back in here right now!" A voice then replied, "He's gone out to get some bread." It was my mother-in-law. FML

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A good yanking

Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

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Just a question

Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

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Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

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Sicko - 28/08/2010 23:52 - France

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

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Tell, don't show

Anonymous - 20/09/2020 10:07

Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML

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mongoosemike - 07/06/2011 05:55

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

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hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

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yakturk43 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:19

win for saying wankerstick lol

bhangu023 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:26

ahaha u shud of been like i'm givin it som morning fresh air

ash92_fml 0

Friday 5 February 2010 11:00

hahaha legend for saying wanker stick!! funny old lady ahah

Stacked_lady 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:54

She must have enjoyed the veiw to wait so long to tell you.

magichead_fml 0

Monday 15 February 2010 4:34

nice fail

Baby_Giss 0

Monday 15 February 2010 4:39

Haha that's kinda cute (ツ)★【ム】【M】【A】【◯】★(ツ)

vsk8p1mp720 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 17:55

shud of been like "but dont u like it?"

maddie1 0

Monday 15 March 2010 21:36

wanker-stick?

highsheep 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 5:25

YDI for not shoving that wankerstick up her ass and making her scream.

RavenJay 7

Tuesday 30 March 2010 13:05

perhaps it took her ten minutes to think of a gay name for it.

yuito90 0

Monday 5 April 2010 7:49

OP this is the part where you sing "you must like what you see"

Geicogecko 2

Tuesday 13 April 2010 5:38

this has happened to me like twenty times

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom caught me vaping weed oil and tried to ground me. I’m 33 years old, with my own wife and kids, weed is legal in this state with a medical card, and I use it to treat the seizures I’ve had since mom belted me around the head as a kid, giving me brain damage. FML

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Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

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Today, I got back from a holiday. I've been suffering from debilitating muscle spasms in my back for over a year, causing migraines and immobility. After all the physical therapy, drugs, and tests, it seems it was caused simply by my mattress. A week of sleeping in the hotel bed completely alleviated it. FML

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Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparents' house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony… until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

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Today, I learned that when a fly goes up your shirt into your armpit, it tickles very badly. I also found out that it's hard to explain this to your mother while she's trying to have a serious conversation with you about your grandmother's rapidly deteriorating health. FML

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Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML

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