Embarrassing Intimacy Pleased to see me?

Pleased to see me?

Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Cockstepblocked

Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

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shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

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wtf - 16/06/2016 06:02 - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

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bill219 - 07/12/2012 22:40 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

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Unfortunate boner

Man - 02/07/2025 06:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was at a party, and a cute girl in a skirt sat on my lap. We were flirting and I unfortunately got hard. She then stood up and yelled, "Are you getting hard? EW!" FML

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Smooth talker

ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

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tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

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Bazinga

Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

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Out of control

emilyxoxoxo - - United States

Today, my friend and I thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

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Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

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HeyImPayton 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 4:59

"don't worry, it's just a pen"

morgan69_fml 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 4:57

Hahaha, that must've been awkward...

varkey 7

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:57

You shouldn't have done that if you had a boner... YDI but FYL as well

avi1981 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 3:36

Sit on my lap and see what pops up??

JadedJarOfHearts 3

Sunday 30 October 2011 8:36

Already been said

josephcase024 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 5:26

What happened next;)

Boredumm 6

Sunday 30 October 2011 5:49

Lol surprize buttsecks

thekrammer 5

Sunday 30 October 2011 5:58

Your happy to see her

mlowe54 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 6:27

What happened after that?!

Carriah420 9

Sunday 30 October 2011 9:28

HOT.

bustymami21 3

Sunday 30 October 2011 17:00

atleast now there's no question.....if she talks to you soon, you can now rest assure your boners wont go unsatisfied....if she doesn't talk to you....well better luck next time lmoa