Love, Annoying and Animals: Please stop - FML

Please stop

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

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vote type 1 5 079

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TOP COMMENTS

NitroTonicsFML 4

Thursday 13 January 2011 9:08

Throw it in a pan, throw in some chopped onions and garlic sprinkle in some salt and black pepper. Problem solved.

IneffableLullaby 13

Thursday 13 January 2011 9:13

It seems that one of you still hasn't gotten over him. Poor parrot. :(

Comments

doglover100 28

Saturday 7 July 2012 17:36

Give the parrot to him.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, to make a good impression, I brought in homemade blueberry muffins for my newish coworkers. Everyone loved them, up until the guy with a nut allergy had to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out my almond milk wasn’t as "nut-free" as I thought. Welcome to the team! FML

agreeclassic 88

vote type 1 797

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

agreeclassic 386

vote type 1 162

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

agreeclassic 21 720

vote type 1 3 339

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

agreeclassic 27 019

vote type 1 7 756

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

agreeclassic 14 084

vote type 1 58 253

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

agreeclassic 29 964

vote type 1 7 905