Love, Embarrassing Awkward Old dog, new tricks

Old dog, new tricks

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Dead giveaway

Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

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tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

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Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

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Purple rain, purple rain

wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

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Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

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sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

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The truth will set you free

Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

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StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

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anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

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Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

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DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

Moco_hanz 0

Monday 7 September 2009 6:25

hahahaha, it sounded like something that my ex gf would say to her parents. its not really a fml worthy since her mom admits that she used the excuse before lol

plexico 3

Monday 7 September 2009 6:40

And your stupid grandma still thinks you are around because your mom sat on a dirty toilet seat. Shhh, I won't tell if you don't.

mrspitiful 0

Monday 7 September 2009 6:54

wtf... this is so lame. fml lowered their standards. back ti MLIA

lives_ppl 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:21

Yeah I don't know what FML is anymore. Instead of a collection of what FMLs were originally, it's turned into a collection of short stories told in a witty way. Either this website needs to change its name or they need to reevaluate.

DickVanDyke 0

Monday 7 September 2009 6:56

This is the dumbest FML ever. Oh, **** my life, I just got caught with a hickey even though my mom explicitly told me she had a hickey when she was my age! Oh, **** my ******* life! I'll never be the same!

uj_fml 4

Monday 7 September 2009 7:01

omg fml fml your mom knows that you and your boyfriend like to fool around!!!11 This isn't even FML worthy.

Mrs_Depp0509 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:07

Oh my goodness! Thats the same excuse Eric used on That 70's Show!

chrisgllgs 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:28

one time i saw this girl walking around and she had hickies all over her neck it was gross then my friend yelled "someone had a fun night with the vacuum last night" rofl everybody in the front of school heard him and looked at her XD