Work: MVP

MVP

By Killmenow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 2 853

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Same thing different taste

By dibman - 07/01/2011 09:11 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 740

You deserved it 2 959

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 363

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 459

You deserved it 3 524

By lolgarbl - 26/02/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 302

You deserved it 2 779

By JEalmon12 - 23/05/2019 12:00

Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 1 827

By fuckmyplums - 07/02/2014 23:47 - Austria - Grossarl

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 411

You deserved it 4 643

By crapules - 23/12/2008 04:18 - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 003

You deserved it 3 716

By fabiennemorin35 - 30/08/2016 09:29 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 236

You deserved it 1 505

Slackers

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 110

You deserved it 1 521

Wage slave

By Janet - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 862

You deserved it 3 253

Rayn4u_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 18:28

If sharpening pencils is a greater responsibility, what were you doing before?

i_love_fml_11 0

Friday 31 July 2009 21:01

so what? pencils need sharpening and you got to have a couple minutes where you could do something easy lol

Comments

redcan3 5

Saturday 10 December 2011 6:32

Just because he asked you a faver dosn't mean that's the only more responsibly he'll give you.

reaxion 25

Monday 24 June 2013 4:58

I would have kindly asked the boss if I could sharpen the pencils in his ass, because that's where he can shove the job.

Fitzinator1995 13

Tuesday 15 October 2013 8:25

don't be hating on the power of the pencil!

garamo 4

Monday 30 June 2025 20:51

He asked you to sharpen HIS pencil if you know what he means!

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The Top

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 235

You deserved it 2 758

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 624

You deserved it 5 731

Today, I set up a nice picnic style dinner in our living room for my wife. No special occasion, just because, but when she got home and saw it, all I got was a “great, and I suppose you’ll want sex for this?” then she made herself a sandwich and went to bed, no explanation. Why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 131

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 794

You deserved it 6 309

Today, I thought that something that happened with my friends last year had died down. I realised I was on the wrong side of the argument, so I apologised. My friend apologised as well while I was absent, and apparently everyone was crying and hugging. You know the response I got from them? "Umm… OK?" I swear everyone hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 365

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 514

You deserved it 5 114

MVP

Same thing different taste

The Dilbert Principle

Slackers

Wage slave

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