Miscellaneous: Make it stop!

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 907

You deserved it 11 479

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Same thing different taste

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 579

You deserved it 4 871

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 4 725

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 143

You deserved it 3 240

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 377

You deserved it 24 030

By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 251

You deserved it 4 761

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 024

You deserved it 9 313

By vee2013 - 26/04/2014 04:22 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 223

You deserved it 6 935

By imalwaystired - 21/01/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 410

You deserved it 7 649

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 02:00

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 158

You deserved it 398

By ___Ruby_____ - 08/10/2018 12:00

Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 392

Bobby64 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 16:34

Yes, but I think the OP deserved it for not wearing a helmet to bed. Totally unsafe.

livlafluv100 2

Monday 25 July 2011 16:35

you should sue whoever made the furniture.

Comments

fad1ngfast 0

Friday 24 April 2009 18:20

Poor OP. I've done things like that at least 20 times in my life lol

trtls 0

Friday 24 April 2009 20:58

lol not a great day starter, eh?

kittenen 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 1:35

#17 - so you often fall out of bed and smash your head twice? I wouldn't go around telling people this

redskittle25 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 2:08

story of my life

trixr4kids 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 2:27

HAHAHAHAHA

ErisXChaos 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 4:50

I must admit...this made me laugh quite a bit. Feel sorry for you though....this seems like the sort of thing that would happen to me >

bbobe900000 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 6:35

hahahahaha!!!! this made me laugh so much!!!!! sorry to laugh at your expense, but you did post it on FML...

caitlynnbby 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 7:53

This really just made my laugh so much. Great visual, hahahaha.

user1101 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 9:20

lmao, thanks for that

Dragon60238 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 18:50

That's what you get for having two dressers

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The Top

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 348

You deserved it 2 431

Today, at our wedding reception, my new husband kept telling his buddies how he’s gonna “fuck my brains off” on our honeymoon and give me the best wedding gift ever - a pearl necklace on my chest. They all roared with laughter. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset and refusing to consummate our marriage right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 280

Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 113

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 649

You deserved it 51 854

Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 419

You deserved it 2 099

Today, and since being diagnosed with bowel cancer, I realised I’ve been unintentionally limiting the places I go to, like shops and restaurants, based solely on the quality of their toilet paper. Not really complaining, I just thought it was kinda funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 139