Health, Food Suspicious Life insurance? - FML

Life insurance?

Rusty - - United States - New City

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

MattStro 23

Saturday 4 July 2015 0:25

Leave a box of rat poison out in the kitchen next time you make food! Have fun with the reaction.

cutycat136 28

Saturday 4 July 2015 0:27

Previous attempts to? Or just a bad cook and they are worried about you accidentally* poisoning them

xDeadlyBlade99x 9

Wednesday 8 July 2015 2:24

Well..... the big question here is... are you?

BloodyGlass 10

Saturday 29 August 2015 8:26

Better check them both into a psych ward, sounds like they both has schizophrenia.

carbonbasedcynic 17

Tuesday 19 January 2016 4:41

secretly OP is a killer psychopath

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my best female friend got dumped. Seeing how I was alone when I got dumped, I didn't want her to feel the same, so I was nice to her and tried to help her as much as I could. I've now been getting constant messages from our mutual friends, telling me to stop hitting on her. FML

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Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML

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Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

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Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

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Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

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Today, I came out to my parents as gay and they reacted better than I expected. Then I found my car destroyed with a note that said "fag" on what used to be my hood. I never thought I'd have to sue my own family, but I'm lucky I have security footage. FML

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