Joe Bidet By userrrrr - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML agreeclassic 49 450 vote type 1 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML agreeclassic 2 883 vote type 1 221
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML agreeclassic 51 747 vote type 1 4 477
Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML agreeclassic 28 461 vote type 1 7 780
Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML agreeclassic 2 791 vote type 1 483
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML agreeclassic 94 001 vote type 1 5 898
Today, I got my period and went clubbing. I had to change my tampon and stupidly I only brought one. When I unwrapped it, it fell on the floor. I had to wait in the womens' bathroom for 45 minutes for a random girl to give me a spare. FML agreeclassic 1 855 vote type 1 820
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?