Miscellaneous It's a mystery - FML

It's a mystery

ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Wilhelm - 26/04/2016 14:47 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

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dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

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Great housekeeping trap tip

Gnome alone - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

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Shards

Anonymous - 17/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML

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rattrap - 06/02/2012 01:13 - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time that my cats hadn't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

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Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

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Anonymous - 16/08/2017 13:00

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

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Caught in 4K

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

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Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

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Isn't that illegal?

Ryan Engle - 29/07/2021 02:01

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

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Pleonasm 35

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:35

It has begun. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids; no-body is safe.

cupcakechick 17

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:34

call the cops

slimkelsey 17

Monday 24 June 2013 5:06

Well at least your ghost has a sense of humor! Gnome-thing scary about that!

Colorguardlife_t 14

Monday 24 June 2013 5:12

Time to move!

EvieM97 8

Monday 24 June 2013 5:19

When did people start calling other people asshats?

DorkAlert 10

Monday 24 June 2013 5:23

Umm do you live with someone? If so, its probably them

BrookRae 19

Tuesday 25 June 2013 1:56

You must not have read their username.

RyoKioKio 21

Monday 24 June 2013 5:30

It has begun... The Sims 3 is starting to bleed into reality.

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 24 June 2013 5:34

I find it hilarious that you're freaking out. Let it go on, and eventually that person will get bored with you not reacting and go away.

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 24 June 2013 5:41

Call the Winchesters.

eightpack007 7

Monday 24 June 2013 5:43

Change your locks smart guy. Duh

dyehardxen 19

Monday 24 June 2013 5:51

Slenderman is putting gnomes in your house. If you start coughing, or feeling faint. Run.

ohhhsnapple 14

Monday 24 June 2013 5:53

Why hasn't anyone suggested that OP might be sleepwalking?? But really, that would creep me out too.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my husband is a music teacher, and I walked in on him on Zoom with one of his female students. He said he was teaching her the guitar. He was naked from the waist down and she was fully nude. FML

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Today, I was cleaning my recently late uncle's house. I found an old framed photo of a boy aged about 3. He's naked and shyly smiling to the camera, holding a heart-shaped sign that reads, "My penis is small, but my love is BIG." I showed it to my mom and asked who it was. She just snorted and said, "You were his favorite!" FML

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Today, after a string of crappy employees had come and gone over the month, I was joking to my manager that maybe we should move the "Now Hiring" sign further away from the trash can so we'd stop getting garbage hires. The new girl was right behind me. I'll be her trainer all week. FML

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Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off. My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea, so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun. Karma 1 - Me 0. FML

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Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML

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Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML

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