Love, Food, Dating and Restaurants: I'm on fire

I'm on fire

By Jyocka - 26/04/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 297

You deserved it 27 141

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Same thing different taste

By John_Elvis - 09/04/2016 03:30 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 385

You deserved it 3 523

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 518

You deserved it 33 525

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 2 010

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 163

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 533

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 278

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 654

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 113

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 183

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 408

Nbarbosa 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:46

yay, Wasaaaaaabii!!!!! (Annoying orange =D)

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 9:08

You sure know how to spice things up.

Comments

Livinia 11

Wednesday 27 April 2011 10:40

So did he call you back for a second date?

unsuccesfulmastu 4

Wednesday 27 April 2011 10:56

man up don't dance around like a puss!

iR83 3

Wednesday 27 April 2011 10:58

it's meant to be.. ;p

Kawboy 1

Wednesday 27 April 2011 11:02

I'm just gonna guess you didn't make it to second base?!

gttogo2003 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 16:52

probably not lol

chanma 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 11:22

you could of excused yourself and went to the restroom before screaming like a pussy lol

PeteyPablo12308 20

Wednesday 27 April 2011 12:18

I didn't know that "screeching in pain" could be classy...

stevenmx86 7

Wednesday 27 April 2011 12:27

Didn't need to be so long.. Should have shortened to "Today I was proud that I was able to hold chopsticks. Fml" because that's a pretty lame thing to be proud of...

HeavyMetalViking 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 12:38

Meanwhile the Asians are proudly to be able to use the Fork and Knife elegantly and drink Chinese tea with straws.

HeavyMetalViking 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 12:40

*proud

Pizzamaster 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:51

go azn!

phiend99 4

Wednesday 27 April 2011 13:13

Why did you have Wasabi on your fingers, if you had handled the chopsticks so "elegantly"? YDI for being such a moron and touching your sushi with your hands. Proper Japanese etiquette, don't touch your food with your hands.

alexFYL 11

Wednesday 27 April 2011 14:51

Actually, proper Japanese etiquette for eating sushi is to eat it with your hands, chopsticks are only used for sashimi. It's also impolite to put more wasabi on your sushi - if your chef thought your sushi needed wasabi, he would have put it on there. And you're supposed to barely dip the fish side in soy sauce, and then eat it fish side down, in one bite.