Intimacy: Hook up

Hook up

By jo - 20/02/2010 10:47 - United States

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 543

You deserved it 6 115

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Same thing different taste

Love is love

By Anonymous - 27/03/2022 01:59

Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 022

You deserved it 817

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 599

You deserved it 24 360

Great date

By okthen - 10/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 1 776

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 006

You deserved it 3 780

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 4 851

Hot stuff

By anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 484

You deserved it 25 724

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By It was a mistake!! - 12/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 683

Pissed off

By Pissed - 29/09/2022 00:01

Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 1 341

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 301

You deserved it 309

Relax, don't do it…

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 08:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I met up with a guy who I've hooked up with 2-3 times before. He gives amazing head. I was sitting on my couch and he was on his knees on the floor in front of me. He was doing his thing, it was incredible and all of a sudden, I didn't even feel it coming, I farted on his chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 454

tokintot07 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:25

well don't **** him if he's drunk. i hope you made him clean it up.

eeeeeeee 5

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:38

You 'finally got to?' You sound like a child who's just been allowed to go to the amusement park for the first time. Quit placing so much importance on hooking up with idiots.

Comments

oped01 8

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:58

You should have put his face in it like the mutt that he is and put him out naked in the yard to sleep it off. then dump the mad "dumper".

piinkbunnii 1

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:05

Make him clean it up with his tongue。＾－＾

shizzzlerrr 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:07

how the hell did he have a hard on if he was "sinfully drunk"??

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:15

Maybe him being drunk is the only way he would bang you? ; ) Anyways I'm sure he'll dump you 'cause no one wants that on their resume'

hjrn 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:11

You should have hooked up with him. He obviously wasn't as into the date as you if he had to show up that drunk. YDI.

mattm0294 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:22

3 steps 1.tear out you carpet, because let's face it you're not gonna wanna deal with the guys crap any more than you have to 2.place douchebag on shitstain and promptly roll him up 3.place your "roll o' douche" in the middle of your nearest walmart, ENJOY! :)