Health, Noise Scary Good morning

Good morning

erlad678 -

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

dancygal123 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:34

i guess now its time to raise the roof.

bigphill1333 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:06

I smell new house renovations!

shell0908 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 10:21

more like **** ur kitchen

dt520 4

Wednesday 5 January 2011 11:46

in the ghetto (high pitch) "ghetto!"

birdfreak 24

Friday 27 May 2011 4:13

that's terrible! at least your roof didn't collapse?

DalekScythe 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:19

hu wah was that? o the ceiling... where are my pancakes... SHIT THE CEILING!!!!

lilny5613 10

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:14

..............thats sad..... did the floor that the ceiling was on come with it?

Kerdooski 8

Sunday 6 January 2013 0:12

I read that as "kitten" instead of "kitchen" :(

banemask 14

Friday 16 August 2013 7:44

Call bob the builder

winchester97 20

Wednesday 31 August 2016 5:31

you know this might be a coincidence but I just read an fml about someone using a treadmill and there downstairs neighbors fan fell lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I took a date to a new restaurant I’d never been to before. Wish I had been because it turns out two of my ex-girlfriends work there as waitresses. Luckily they were amicable break-ups, but it was still hella awkward every time they brought stuff to the table. FML

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Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML

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Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

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Today, I had to listen to some old phone call recordings at work, in which a certain worker had the most annoying high-pitched voice. To my horror, I discovered that they were my call recordings, so the annoying voice was my own. My colleagues all concurred they cannot stand the sound of me talking. FML

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Today, if I want to be sexually attracted to my wife, I need to be very drunk, but if I'm very drunk there's about a 2/3 chance I'll have whisky dick. Before you ask, we've been married over 40 years, so there's no point in divorcing, we've been together too long, so who else would want to shag us except each other? FML

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Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML

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